dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
