When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
