i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
