She is in my trunk
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
