i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
