I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
