lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
