I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry about my life...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
