You really coming over, don't trick.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
