Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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