Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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