Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Panties = found
Randomize
