No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
