new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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