normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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