im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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