so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
