whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
