Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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