Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
