i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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