I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
splinters make it hard to masturbate
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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