It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize