Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Small penises have feelings too.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
