3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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