Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
