Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
