so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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