I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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