Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
