He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
