An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
