I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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