i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
