I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
