so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
