...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
