U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
