I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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