why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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