I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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