I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
