going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
