my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
