Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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