Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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