The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Randomize
