I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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