Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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