She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
