I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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